Currently Playing Lest We Forget: The Best of By Marilyn Manson the Nobodies see related

today when i got home i found this letter on the bar. it wasn't addressed to me, but i read it, and am now posting it here.

I have a story that needs to be told. It is not a new story or even in a sense remarkably unique, but simply unjust.

That is why my story needs to be told and why I am asking for help. I, like many others before, have found myself in a position of needing surgery.Not just any surgery, but one to save my life. And like many others, comforted with not only their faith, but the thought that the insurance would cover that surgery. Or so i thought. However, there is a pre-surgical procedure that has to be done in order for the surgery to actually BE successful, this part however, is NOT covered and as i said- one cannot be done without the other.

My name is Seuss Brady-Estes, and I am the mother of three. I have two boys and one girl and Pray each and every day that I will live to see them grow.I have a condition that is actually quite common. It is called Sleep Apnea, except that i have a severe version called Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I also have Obstructive Airway disorder. But this is just the mild side of my problems. These two combined caused the major problem that i no longer have a natural airway. I have been sick for quite a while and misdiagnosed due to the problems with chest pains caused by this condition. Finally, after they had been monitoring my heart for several days, they did an oxygen saturation test and sleep study. These found that my heart was only receiving 48 to 52% of the oxygen necessary. During this time they had decided to try an attempt to open up my airway. During this procedure i went into arrest which forced them to do an Emergency Tracheotomy. Soon after they realized my palate and jaw was not allowing for any air to get through, and that due to enlarged sinus, I was getting no air through my nostrils either. My problems though, seemed easy enough to fix. A surgery to move the upper and lower jaw forward, removal of tissue of the soft palate and tongue, shrinking of the sinuses and routing of a new airway. Painful, but solvable.

Except.... in order to move the jaw forward, and not do any damage to the jaw, they would have to be able to put on a "Jaw Bar". This would need to be anchored by orthodontic appliances that would be put on before the surgery. This is the part the insurance refuses. They consider the dental and orthodontic work that needs to be donepre-surgery to be "Cosmetic" and therefore not covered. The problem with this being, if this isn't done, I can't get a new airway and without proper oxygen to my heart... the rest is easy to understand. The irony of this is that the insurance is willing to cover a surgey and hospital stay that will most likely exceed $100,000 but refuses to cover the pre procedure estimated at approximately $5,000.

I know that for so many, this amount of money, if it meant their life or death, could be gotten together easily. But to a mother of three, who has been too sick to work for three years, it might as well be a million. This is why i am asking, more so i am pleading, that you could find it in your power to help with a donation fund for this procedure, also these donations could be held by the church and given directly to the clinic that would be doing the work. Any help is appreciated and also any prayers are also appreciated, and at the moment, vital to my life.

Thank you for your time.
Be Blessed
Seuss Brady-Estes

anyway, thats about all i'm posting right now

happy st. patricks day

~namarie~

here's a conversation that remids me of one's that my dad and my grandfather used to have at work.

person 1: hey i got a new cat today.
person 2: what about your old one?
person 1: i gave it away. it was too much trouble
person 2: is it a long haired cat or a short haired?
person 1: long haired
person 2: i hate those. they're kind of mean.
person 1: mines not really mean. but it's hungry all the time. and it scratches. i don't want to get it a scratching post though. and anyway it'll mess up the wood.
person 2: haha, really? i'm sorry. well, it's better than having a dog i guess...
person 1: yeah, i guess. if you had a dog, would you rather it be a male or female dog?
person 2: female. i don't like male pets.
person 1: female dogs tend to be mean though.
person 2: thats why i wouldn't have a dog.
person 1: yeah. i guess. you have a cat right?
person 2: yeah, why?
person 1: is it long haired or short haired?
person 2: hairless
person 1: oh. thats kind of weird.
person 2: well, i like it. it doesn't ever scratch me, and i don't need to feed it anytime i don't want to. besides which, it's really nice. its also kind of small.
person 1: that sounds like a nice pet.
person 2: its pretty much the perfect pet.

i'd appreciate it if ppl would IM me and try to guess what kind of cat person 1 just got

not that i think ppl will, but...

nothing much to say.

strange how when you need someone most,
when you need to feel like someone cares,
no one cares.
no one has any time for you.
even if they have time for their other friends.

i don't think i'll be at school tomorrow.
i didn't handle myself very well yesterday, and i'm not doing much better today.

my grandmother is the first family member i've known that's  died.
i would give anything to feel like i wasn't alone right now.